…[Because] His Hour Had Not Yet Come

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” Then the Pharisees said to him, “You are testifying on your own behalf; your testimony is not valid.” Jesus answered, “Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid because I know where I have come from and where I am going, but you do not know where I come from or where I am going. You judge by human standards; I judge no one. Yet even if I do judge, my judgment is valid; for it is not I alone who judge, but I and the Father who sent me. In your law it is written that the testimony of two witnesses is valid. I testify on my own behalf, and the Father who sent me testifies on my behalf.” Then they said to him, “Where is your Father?” Jesus answered, “You know neither me nor my Father. If you knew me, you would know my Father also.” He spoke these words while he was teaching in the treasury of the temple, but no one arrested him, because his hour had not yet come.

The Gospel According to Saint John 8:12-29

My strong sense of justice sometimes becomes disordered because of my prideful hubris. It’s a besetting sin that provides many lessons for me to learn the virtue of humility–mea culpa! The Sacred Scripture is a syllabus of sorts for transformation in the virtues. I’m a willing student but often feel like I’m failing the course. Do you ever feel that way, friend?

Jesus had a perfect sense of justice; we could say Jesus is Justice. So whenever I read passages such as today’s gospel reading, I lean in a little closer to listen to The Teacher as he shows me a more excellent way to live. It just so happened that today is also when we recall the Joyful Mysteries where we visualize, through Mary’s eyes, the wonder of the Incarnation of Jesus. The last mystery we recall in today’s rosary is Jesus in The Temple. Joseph and Mary had “lost” Jesus on the way back home to Nazareth after the Passover in Jerusalem. They found him after three days, sitting in the Temple. St. Luke 2:48-51 puts it this way:

After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. 

Mary and Joseph let him know what he had put them through and Jesus replies:

“Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart.

As I prayed with that mystery, the Teacher asked me a question. Why do you suppose I reveal my understanding to these particular teachers of the Law? It was early morning, I was barely awake, and it was too much to ponder. But the Teacher wasn’t done teaching. A bit later, with my coffee in my mug and the incense burning, I opened The Daily Liturgy. As I read the gospel reading, the Teacher was still there; he didn’t mind the interruption, he wasn’t done teaching for the day.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.”  Oh, Jesus! As I see the sun just now rising above the trees, I am grateful that you never stop shining, even when I’ve “rotated” away from your light. Help me to remain oriented to your light, especially when my disordered pride makes me think I have just the right insight into other people’s behavior that they need to hear–mea culpa!

Jesus is in the same Temple again; the Pharisees–teachers, probably some of the same teachers from decades earlier argue with Jesus after he made the above declaration. Their disordered pride was getting in the way of their ability to understand The Teacher. Oh, Jesus! Forgive me for thinking my way of thinking is how you see things. There is no way I can fathom the depth and breadth of your wisdom; what’s that you say to me?

“You know neither me, nor my Father. If you knew me, you would know my Father also.”  I stand up in protest. Oh, Jesus! How can that be? I am convinced you are the Son of God; surely, I’m thinking correctly. But you say, I am Love. I am not like love. I am Love. You must learn to love me more and love your big fat ego less. Only then will you understand. When you speak words motivated by your disordered pride, you are speaking out of turn. He looks at me with gentle eyes, and I sit down.

He spoke these words while he was teaching in the treasury of the temple, but no one arrested him, because his hour had not yet come. Is this the lesson for me today, Jesus? That even though you were God incarnate–Perfect Wisdom–you allow the errant teachers to remain convinced of their errant teaching. Rather than striking the verbal blow that would knock them to their knees, you walk away because your hour had not yet come.

That subordinate clause, “because,” gets me to wondering if I have missed something from the lesson. Ah, yes. You are the Cause; the beginning and the end. You are the Incarnate God that began a discussion with the errant teachers of your Law when you were just a child. I suppose you could have knocked them to their knees then, but the time you chose to reveal your Divinity had not yet come. Jesus, forgive me! Forgive my ego-centered attitude toward others. Forgive me for not listening to you–all those times in my past when the words of my mouth came out like knives to slyly pierce the one in front of me–mea culpa!

You, Lord, are the Cause of my life. In you, I have my beginning and end. Through you I receive Wisdom that leads to understanding, that leads me to keep my big fat mouth closed. Humble me into Love–genuine and pure–self-giving love that seeks to understand the other rather than to conquer the other.

In the name of the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, it is now, and ever shall be, world without end.


Wealth that Matters to God

Someone in the crowd said to Jesus,
“Teacher, tell my brother to share the inheritance with me.”
He replied to him,
“Friend, who appointed me as your judge and arbitrator?”
Then he said to the crowd,
“Take care to guard against all greed,
for though one may be rich,
one’s life does not consist of possessions.”

Then he told them a parable.
“There was a rich man whose land produced a bountiful harvest.
He asked himself, ‘What shall I do,
for I do not have space to store my harvest?’
And he said, ‘This is what I shall do:
I shall tear down my barns and build larger ones.
There I shall store all my grain and other goods
and I shall say to myself, “Now as for you,
you have so many good things stored up for many years,
rest, eat, drink, be merry!”’
But God said to him,
‘You fool, this night your life will be demanded of you;
and the things you have prepared, to whom will they belong?’
Thus will it be for the one who stores up treasure for himself
but is not rich in what matters to God.”

The Gospel According to St. Luke 12: 13-21

The “someone in the crowd” on this day came to Jesus with a complaint about an inheritance that he thought should be divided up between him and his brother. We don’t know the whole story, but Jesus did and he graciously responded with a parable to illustrate to him the spiritual lesson he needed to learn. Jesus’ method, so to speak, still works today. We are all someone in a crowd seeking answers for the dilemmas in our life, and Jesus knows our whole story. What Jesus had to say then, he still speaks today–this is what I treasure about the gospels–it is the good news I need for every moment of my life.

Let’s consider together this interaction from St. Luke’s narrative. Jesus warns the brother, as he does us, to take care to guard against all greed because our quality of life here on earth doesn’t rely on the accumulation of earthly goods. We know that in theory, but how do we follow Jesus’ advice to become rich in what matters to God? The parable Jesus then tells has been referred to as The Parable of the Rich Fool, for the man, so caught up in his greediness, doesn’t seem to consider treasuring what matters to God. It seems that he believed that the accumulation of money would give his life purpose. He certainly isn’t alone in his greediness, what began in Eden plays out in the habits of the human condition!

St. Augustine wrote that our hearts are restless until they rest in God. Like the rich fool, the restlessness of the human condition drives us toward immediate satisfaction from whatever fascinates or consoles us–all under the umbrella of over-weaning fear or pride. The rich fool’s pride was obvious, our’s might not be so obvious. The man’s question of what shall I do to satisfy my restlessness is the question that sends each of us down paths that may appear benign enough. But do they make us rich in what matters to God?

Consider Jesus’ words again, “‘You fool, this night your life will be demanded of you; and the things you have prepared, to whom will they belong? ‘Thus will it be for the one who stores up treasure for himself but is not rich in what matters to God.” St. Augustine taught people to seek the invisible rewards of God in loving what is good, loving what God has created, but only if they are lovers of God. That’s the tipping point, isn’t it? He exhorted his congregation to pursue what they love in the right order: heavenly things before earthly ones, the LORD before everything else.

Here’s the thing, it’s much easier to pursue the things we see rather than the things we don’t see! We can’t quantify charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, and chastity. And how do we quantify temperance, justice, prudence, and fortitude or faith, hope, or charity? I’ve referred to this before by considering them as investments that roll back dividends into our lives, all for the sole purpose of glorifying God and attracting those around us to do the same. It’s the most simple and difficult method to guide us away from being fools!

Father, reveal to us how our restlessness for you is misguided by our drive to eat, drink, and be merry with the temporal wealth of this world. 

Draw our wandering hearts back to you, and open our eyes and ears to the abundance of your blessings. May we treasure what you think about us more than what those around us think of us.

Holy Spirit of God, train us in storing up the eternal riches of God’s glory as you guide us into the abundant freedom of detachment from this world’s empty treasures.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

As it was in the beginning, it is now, and ever shall be, world without end.


The Feast Day of St. Benedict

Preferring Christ: The Rule of St. Benedict

Today is the Feast Day of St. Benedict of Nursia. St. Benedict is among the posse of saints that surround my life, interceding for me before the LORD, our God. The Rule of St. Benedict which is so revered in the history of The Church is a rich tapestry of wisdom that is tightly woven with Sacred Scripture to guide us in living our ordinary life in an extraordinary way.

The Rule orientates us to the knowledge that God is everywhere, all the time, and because of this, every element of our ordinary day is potentially holy. Ascending to this truth that seems a little homely reorients us to our created identity because we learn to recognize that daily life is the grist for the mill of our consecration to our Creator. Does your day-to-day life seem stressful, challenging, hum-drum, or dull? Then St. Benedict is your guide through the ordinary into the extraordinary life in God.

The title, The Rule of St. Benedict, is better understood in its ancient context of the Latin word, regula, or guidepost. The prologue of The Rule begins with this: Listen, my child….incline the ear of your heart. Hearing and listening are two different things. Have you ever spent time with someone who hears you but doesn’t incline their spirit toward you enough to listen to you? Worse yet, do we hear the Word of the LORD without our spirit leaning toward him in order to really listen? St. Benedict emphasizes the importance of turning toward Christ with the posture of a child leaning into him to hear every word of beauty, goodness, and truth. In this way we are trained in preferring Christ above all things which is one of St. Benedict’s favorite themes. Praying with St. Benedict as we pray Sacred Scripture helps us look at our world through interior eyes. It helps us become better listeners to our Father and, in turn, better observers of the people and events of our lives.

Early in The Rule, we are guided in three monastic virtues: obedience, restraint of speech, and humility. Hmm? That sounds like the folk in the sixth century were just like us. St. Benedict makes it clear that these timeless virtues are inseparable. As we practice these virtues, we gain everything the LORD has promised us of the abundant life with Him. We, like St. Benedict, live in a culture of protest, excessive self-promotion, and overweaning pride. You and I can choose from the vices of the culture or we can pursue the virtues of God’s Kingdom; how is it going for you? It’s hard work to swim upstream in our downstream society! So let’s briefly consider these primary virtues.

Here’s a little side note, each of these virtues has its own chapter in The Rule. Obedience gets 19 verses of attention; Silence gets one verse of attention, and Humility has a whopping 70 verses of attention! Take a knee with me at this observation!

Regarding the virtue of obedience, St. Benedict writes that the first step of humility is obedience without delay. He encourages us to, immediately leave all that is our concern and forsake our own will, with our hands disengaged from what seems urgent to us. I am driven by goals, so much so that finding balance in the daily round is a consistent prayer I offer to the LORD. Do you suffer from tunnel vision as I do? Disengaging my hands from what seems so important to me in a moment takes monumental effort sometimes. I am learning to appreciate the slowness that St. Benedict emphasizes throughout The Rule because it is in slowing down my pell-mell thoughts and actions I’m trained in obedience. What I am discovering as I slow down is there’s very little in life that is worth the whims and appetites of my self-indulgent grasping.

Regarding the virtue of Silence, St. Benedict writes Let us do as the prophet says: “I said, I will take heed to my ways that I do not sin with my tongue: I have placed a watch over my mouth… He draws our attention to the importance of silence with scriptures from the book of Proverbs: In too much speaking you shall not avoid sin. (Proverbs 10:19) And, Death and life are in the power of the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21) Oh, so much could be said here (pun not intended). I kindle to what fellow Benedictine oblate Norene Vest wrote about this: it seems to me that the more we love words, we tend to let ourselves be satisfied by them, thus stopping short of the true satisfaction [that comes from Jesus alone]. It calls to mind St. Paul’s observation that people are always learning but never understanding. I respond to that verse by praying, Lord, I don’t want to be so caught up in speaking about what I am learning at the expense of not understanding it and living it out. Lord, remind me that it is through listening and silence that you teach and lead me into rest.

And finally, regarding the virtue of humility, St. Benedict gives us extensive guidance, beginning with the straightforward point: the problem of the spiritual life is pride (self-exaltation); the remedy is humility. St. Benedict emphasizes the need to contemplate Sacred Scripture; it comes down to this, the more we immerse ourselves in praying with Sacred Scripture we become acutely aware of our prideful leanings.

He writes that we must, by our ever-ascending actions, erect a ladder, like the one which the proud and fearful Jacob beheld in his dream in his flight from duty and responsibility. Daily life offers plenty of opportunities to learn how to descend and ascend the ladder of humility. As we practice humility, the ladder is lifted by the LORD to heaven; I like that! Yet, some days when I’ve forgotten to allow the LORD to teach me this way, the Holy Spirit remains on each rung with me, guiding me. How about you, friend? When you face an old struggle and bristle at someone’s words or actions, does pride knock you off the ladder of humility? I regularly find myself flat on my backside, wondering how I could fall off the ladder again!

When we follow the guideposts in St. Benedict has provided us, we receive the remedy for the consumer-driven society that peddles discord, disenchantment, and dis-ease. We live in the chaos of evil times, full of anxiety, anger, and the noise of modernity! St. Benedict shows us the path away from it into preferring Christ over all things (no matter how entertaining or attractive they are) and abiding in the dailiness of our extraordinary life with God.

Let’s pray with St. Benedict:

O Lord, I place myself in your hands and dedicate myself to you. I pledge to do your will in all things: To love the Lord God with all my heart, soul, strength

I desire to prefer nothing to the love of Christ…To desire eternal life with spiritual longing…to pray often. To ask forgiveness daily for my sins, and to seek ways to amend my life…Not to desire to be thought holy, but to seek holiness…Never to despair of your mercy, O God of Mercy.

I ask this in the name of the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

As it was in the beginning, it is now, and ever shall be, world without end.


The Little Foxes Steel the Vine

The Old Testament reading for Mass today is well worth our consideration. As is The Church’s way, we are offered the daily scripture readings that require more than a cursory glimpse, for in keeping with the Sacred Tradition of the Church–all of Sacred Scripture is written for our salvation. As we open our spirit to the Holy Spirit’s inspiration contained in the written word, we are tutored on how to live the virtues in order to fight the good fight against the vices of sinful thought that can lead to sinful actions which are on display in the narrative of Ahab and Jezebel. So, with that in mind, let’s examine the reading to discover what the Holy Spirit desires to accomplish in our thoughts, motives, and actions.

If you have been following the daily readings in the Old Testament, then you know much of the backstory of King Ahab and his wife Jezebel. I bet you already know today’s recorded event won’t end well for them. Ahab and Jezebel refused to accept God’s authority over them by acting on the many vices that festered in their spirits. Those actions eventually led to a messy ending for them where God’s justice was served. Let’s pick up the narrative of I Kings 21: 1-17 as the extent of their spiritual disease reveals their evil; I will paraphrase parts of the lengthy narrative.

Naboth the Jezreelite had a vineyard in Jezreel
next to the palace of Ahab, king of Samaria.
Ahab said to Naboth, “Give me your vineyard to be my vegetable garden,
since it is close by, next to my house.
I will give you a better vineyard in exchange, or,
if you prefer, I will give you its value in money.”
Naboth answered him, “The LORD forbid
that I should give you my ancestral heritage.”
Ahab went home disturbed and angry..

[Ahab seethed in his anger, complaining to his wife Jezebel]

His wife Jezebel came to him and said to him,
“Why are you so angry that you will not eat?”

[I wanted something Naboth had and he wouldn’t give it to me!]

His wife Jezebel said to him,
“A fine ruler over Israel you are indeed!
Get up.
Eat and be cheerful.
I will obtain the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite for you.”

[Jezebel used the power of Ahab’s office as king to plot against Naboth with lies and accusations to paint him into a corner that he would not be able to get out of alive]

And they
[the bribed accusers] led Naboth out of the city and stoned him to death.
Then they sent the information to Jezebel
that Naboth had been stoned to death.

[Jezebel went in to the king with the “good” news]

“Go on, take possession of the vineyard
of Naboth the Jezreelite that he refused to sell you,
because Naboth is not alive, but dead.”
On hearing that Naboth was dead, Ahab started off on his way
down to the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite,
to take possession of it.

Such evil people! Such duplicity! Such injustice! But wait, let’s consider the heart and soul of Ahab and Jezebel. A small parable comes to mind from another Old Testament book; The Song of Solomon 2:15. It reads:

Catch us the foxes,
    the little foxes,
that damage the vineyards—
    for our vineyards are in blossom.

The putridity of Ahab and Jezebels’ behavior reveals that somewhere along the way, they had little foxes that snuck into their minds and began to damage them from the inside out. Those little foxes had names: pride, lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, anger, and envy: the seven vices. Those vices motivated their actions and ended in God’s judgment against them.

This is why The Church keeps the Sacred Scripture ever before us. This is why our Triune God sends his Holy Spirit into our lives to grant us his wisdom to live our lives. The Holy Spirit gifts us so that we may fight against the vice that motivates us to act unjustly toward another. Because of Christ’s Passion for us, we can confess those vices and be forgiven. Because of Christ’s resurrection from death, hell, and the grave, we can be strengthened in virtue and transformed to live in the abundance of a well-tended vineyard!

How does the vineyard of your soul look today? Are their little foxes running amuck in your heart and mind? If you are anything like me, friend, you regularly have to walk the wall of your vineyard looking for the holes that allow the little foxes into your soul. The Holy Spirit comes alongside us as we examine the wall, giving us the grace and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, helping us repair what has broken down in us. The Church comes alongside us, as well, to give us the Sacrament of Confession and the Daily Examine as tools for the repair. Sometimes I need to do minute-by-minute examinations of my thoughts and motivations; do you feel me? I invite you to pray with me the prayer of examen with the seven vices with the seven virtues.

Triune God, please grant me your humbleness to remove my prideful self-promoting thoughts and actions.

Grant me your purity and self-restraint to remove my lustful striving after more; for excess.

Grant me your patience to remove my judgmental assumptions that lead to an angry spirit.

Grant me your temperance to remove my gluttonous consumption of all the distractions that I use to ignore the sickness in my soul.

Grant me your kindness to remove the envy of others that traps me in comparisons, jealousy, and self-loathing.

Grant me your forbearance to remove the sloth of spirit that causes me to sink under the weight of what I perceive is demanded of me or causes me to despair that I will never change.

I ask this, in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

As it was in the beginning, it is now and ever shall be, world without end.



Say Yes More Than You Say No

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

“Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you.”

The Gospel according to St. Luke 6:36-38

The best advice I received as a parent of young children was this: “Say yes more than you say no.” It’s a lesson that stayed with me long after our children left home because it applies to all relationships. The child psychologist that wrote that advice was referring to the spirit of “no” that we must guard against in parenting children with rigidity and close-mindedness. We can soften by saying “yes” in the important task of raising children with love, acceptance, and forgiveness. I thought of this as I read the gospel reading today for Jesus; the Master Psychologist is the perfect example of saying yes more than no. His mercy is his yes to us!

The response of mercy is the prerequisite of living as God’s child, you could say it’s in our DNA as a beloved child of the Most High God; woefully dormant sometimes, but it is there. The heart of the good news of Jesus is this: “God so loved the world that he gave…” and the entirety of his giving to us is revealed in Jesus’ actions and teachings. We witness the if/then of saying yes to God as Jesus lived among us giving practical insight into how to say yes more than we say no to our neighbor, be it our child, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker, or acquaintance.

Perhaps you grew up under the supposition of God as Judge rather than of God as Lover; that kind of thinking can entangle us in a briary patch that only the Lover of our Soul can rescue us. Do you feel me? I think what hinders us in saying yes with mercy and acceptance to others is that we’ve deluded ourselves by believing this of the LORD because sometimes we transfer this thinking to our reactions to others. We so easily default to judgment in our thoughts, words, and actions that others have a hard time seeing mercy and love in us; it’s as though the word “No” is flashing with neon lights from our countenance. The LORD desires to purge us of this sin.

The remedy is the confession of the judgmental spirit we excuse in ourselves. But then, we must allow the Holy Spirit to guide us in choosing to say yes to others as the LORD says yes to us! What makes me think that I can do otherwise? Remembering “For God so loved the world that he gave…..” is helping to remove the proverbial log in my eye as I live beside others in this life; this is how I have been praying that truth over my life, “For Lois so loves God that she gives…..” Wow! That stops me in my tracks when judgment and condemnation begin to poison my thought life. It’s hard work, but Christ is yoked with us as we plow through the weeds that entangle us!

Today’s gospel reading happens to be one of the many “Come-to-Jesus” readings that are helping me relearn the LORD as Lover by unlearning the attitudes and actions I can accumulate in saying “no” to others through my judgmental thoughts and words. I invite you to pray with me the Gospel according to St. Luke 6:36-38

“[Lois] Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

Father, your forbearance and grace cannot be measured; it’s beyond my comprehension. Help me learn to extend my “yes” of love and acceptance of others. Holy Spirit, reveal all the thoughts I have that are contrary to love. Purge them from my mind.

“[Lois] Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.”

LORD Jesus, you rubbed shoulders with anyone and everyone, even those that we would avoid if left to our own devices. You love! No matter the creed or ethnicity or sexual identity or state of existence! Holy Spirit, expand mercy in me until I no longer see anyone as unequal to me. I love you so much that I choose to give acceptance to everyone. We are your children.

[Lois] Forgive and you will be forgiven.

Savior and Redeemer, you love me so much that you forgive me–my sins and failings, my raw edges, my pride, fear, and anger. I choose to love you so much that I desire to forgive others. I choose to love you so much that I extend grace rather than second-guessing judgment when I don’t understand another’s words or actions. I love you so much that I choose to look for you in another’s eyes; I choose to see your face looking back at me. I love you so much that I choose my countenance says yes to everyone, EVERYONE!

“[Lois] Give and gifts will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap

Father of all Good Gifts, you overwhelm me with your grace and mercy, your joy and peace. Your love is endless! Forgive me for putting limits on my love for others. You did not create me this way; would you recreate generosity of spirit in me? I don’t want to give by counting what it will cost me because it already cost you everything to love me. I choose to love you so much that I freely give the gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, and faithfulness to others.

[Lois]… the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you.”

Holy Spirit of God, I’m ashamed at how quickly I measure others by impossible standards! Forgive the stingy thoughts that creep into my unguarded mind. Train me to say yes to your love at the first hint of my withholding love from another.

I love you so much that I give my thoughts, words, deeds to you without any measure. I love you so much that I choose to love as you have loved me, laying my life down in favor of the love you desire to give through me.

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

As it was in the beginning, it is now, and ever shall be, world without end.


In A Word….”Selah”

Today’s readings from the psalms and oracles of the prophets serve as a soundtrack, as it were, for us as we have been considering the beginnings of God’s chosen people, the Israelites, recorded in Genesis. It’s not hard to recognize the same soundtrack plays as a backdrop for our own lives as we grow into our identity as God’s child. In fact, I believe that is why the psalms and oracles are so prevalent in The Liturgy of the Church, the words unite our spirit with the Spirit of God’s voice throughout the ages.

There is a certain word that is often sung or implied as a theme and by heeding it I may receive the LORD’s help as I walk the path of salvation. The word acts as a pop-up reminder to us to remember who we are and to whom we belong as we tread our own way through the high and low places of our journey of salvation. Consider this paraphrase of Psalm 46.

God is [my] refuge and strength,
    a very present help in trouble.  Therefore [I] will not fear …… Selah

…God is in [my] midst; [I] shall not be moved;
God will help ….

….“Be still, and know that I am God.
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth!”….

The words of the psalmist convey the ever-present help of the LORD to us as the way to mindfulness of the LORD’s quiet presence to us. The psalmist ends each phrase with the word “Selah”, which means “forever” or “to lift up; exalt”, its presence in the psalm is a cue for us to pause or to take a breath allowing our minds to take in what the psalmist has proclaimed. It serves as a sacred and silent interlude for us to receive the LORD’s truth. Within this particular psalm, there is the implication of the “if/then” of the fullness of God’s Covenant with us. He calls the people to “Be still and know that I am God,” to consider what the LORD in his mercy is trying to teach us as we live out our salvation: If you will remain silent, listen and linger with me, then you will know I am your fortress; I will be your salvation! Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? Yet in practice, it can take a colossal effort to remain silent. I am sometimes tempted to rely on my own judgment to quickly plow through the interruptions of life or become so enamored by the shiny parts of life that I’m distracted from the reality of the LORD’s Covenant with me.

We see this evidenced in what we’ve been reading about the history of God’s people; how fear and pride dogged their path, how they allowed the so-called gods of the culture around them to lose sight of the LORD’s Covenant. Eventually, fatigue from their striving to fit in with the culture wears them down. What I have observed in my own life is that if fear and pride don’t drive me to my knees before the LORD, fatigue certainly will. I need “Selah” for I weary of the tug of war between my own will and the LORD’s will…..that’s just like him, isn’t it? He allows us to come to the end of ourselves where we finally cease striving. It’s as if the LORD says, “Lois, I finally have you where I need you…..now, let’s consider how you are striving to achieve and acquire what comes from Me alone.”

Two other passages from the psalms and the prophet are included in the Liturgy today that draws our spirit into a “Selah”. From Isaiah 30:15, “By waiting and by calm you shall be saved. In quiet and in trust your strength lies.” And again in Psalm 124 we can imagine the psalmist seated on a mountainside of the rugged terrain of Israel. As he sits there, he is pondering all the “what ifs” of life and remembers the faithfulness of the LORD as his rock and refuge. In that “Selah” a song formulates in his mind and he begins to sing,

If it had not been the Lord who was on my side
    when people rose up against me,
then they would have swallowed me up alive,
    when their anger was kindled against me;
then the flood would have swept me away,
    the torrent would have gone over me;
then over me would have gone
    the raging waters.”

Friend, are there “what ifs” in your life? Do you sit still before the LORD as you ponder them?…. Selah

Have you come through a time of celebration and are left with a sense of satisfaction and gratitude?… Selah

Were you following a path set before you when circumstances went sideways for you? …Selah

Has someone you trusted betrayed you? ….Selah

Has the pandemic brought about a financial reversal in your life?… Selah

Do you tend to focus on what the LORD hasn’t done for you?… Selah

When you scurry after pleasures that are passing, do you…Selah?

The joy of our salvation comes through our own willingness to Selah; to be still and know that the LORD is forever faithful and true. Only He can truly satisfy.

LORD God, remind us that nothing is new under the sun. You never change and your responses to our own choices are the same as they were to our ancestors in the faith. LORD, you are faithful and true even when we are not. Slow us down, train us to embrace “Selah” in our posture before you.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen

Leaving Egypt

Sometimes around this fourth week of Lent, I find myself scuffling in my lenten vows leaving a limp in my stride through the Lenten Desert. What I can vow on Ash Wednesday seems doable, even noble. This year, however, has been a particular struggle for me. Rather than allowing me to go through the motions of keeping my lenten vows that I THINK are good enough, the LORD has used the scuffle in my spirit to reveal a deeper sin in my life. Do you go through that?

Generations had come and gone since Joseph led the way for the tribe of Israel to escape famine. In the meantime, God’s chosen people had lost their way and fallen into the ways and means of the Egyptian culture. In today’s reading, we find that the Israelites had just been freed of that 430-year bondage in Egypt in a stunning way because the LORD desired to get the Israelites out of Egypt–the slavery, the persecution, and the rampant idol worship of the culture. He called Moses to lead the way and one of the greatest stories of all time unfolds. The first step of the LORD’s deliverance is accomplished, and now the Israelites are in the desert around Mt. Sinai–a rag, tag tribe betwixt a rock and a hard place–trusting the idols of Egypt and trying to remember how to worship God. Nothing about the desert appealed to the Israelites, they were moaners and groaners, stiff-necked people who had a big problem. As we do, I might add. They had spent so many years immersed in a pagan culture that worshiped created things instead of the Creator. In spite of the pain they endured, they were apparently comfortable with the Egyptian way. So not only did the LORD want to get the people out of Egypt to worship Him alone, he wanted to get Egypt out of the people! Hmmm? This sounds a bit too familiar to us, doesn’t it?

This year a memory has come back to me several times as I’ve gone to prayer with the LORD about what I am struggling against during this Lent. Decades ago our youngest child was climbing around on some landscape timber when she lost her balance and fell. She is a tough one, so she didn’t complain or cry, she just got right up and continued to play. A few days passed before I noticed some redness on her knee, I didn’t think much of it because she always had bruises, cuts, and bumps on her body. A week passed and I started noticing that her gait had changed, she favored the leg with the bump. I rubbed some salve on it and sent her on her way. The bump continued to inflame, but it wasn’t until she voiced to me that she had an ouchie that I took her seriously. She laid down next to me and I began to prod at the inflammation, she winced. I noticed a light red line running down her leg from the bump; blood poisoning! She and I tried to figure out what she had done to get the ouchie, she didn’t have an answer and I couldn’t remember which of her many falls might have caused it. It wasn’t until I placed more pressure on her leg that we discovered the source of her pain. She screamed and hollered once I became serious about the pressure of my kneading her leg. I didn’t stop though it took quite a while. Eventually, a 1& 1/2″ inch splinter with the circumference of a toothpick shot free from her leg! Success! That large splinter was finally expelled from the inflamed tissue around it. Immediate relief came from the threat of the infection, but it took time for the wounded tissue to heal and for the antibiotics to conquer the infection. She eventually got her stride back and was off to find another adventure where she would no doubt be left with more bruises and cuts.

I’ve been feeling a splinter in my soul’s flesh during this season of Lent. It’s been there quite a while, years, in fact! What I am learning now, through the grace of God, is that he wants to do for me what he did for the Israelites. He desires to “get [poison] Egypt out of me.” There is an inflammation in each of our spirits that is caused by sin in us. Just like the Israelites, there’s an infection within us that if left untended, will destroy us. I am in need of liberation from the enemy of my soul–the bondage can take on the form of one of my greatest strengths and turn it in on me, infecting me with the sin of over-weaning pride. How about you? Is fear or anger or pride so deeply embedded in your life that you can’t recognize the source of that infection? Healing and transformation take a lifetime even with our willingness to cooperate with the LORD. No amount of vows or almsgiving or penance can substitute for the humility that comes when we expose the source of our limp to our loving Father.

Healing Savior, you know our deepest wounds, you know how they affect our lives? Holy Spirit, Counselor, would you help us to recall where the wound came from?

If others caused our wound, would you grant us the spirit of forgiveness so that we can be freed from the oozing resentment and bitterness in our souls?

We scamper about in this good life enjoying the good things you have given to us, forgive us when we believe the lie of the enemy that our limp is not serious enough to stop us from playing hide and seek with You.

Oh, LORD, the wounds we cause ourselves when we forget to remember that You alone are God are infinite and ugly! Give us courage to see that we are our own worst enemy when we try to hide or refuse your healing hand.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.


Nothing But a Walking Stick

And he called to him the twelve, and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. He charged them to take nothing for their journey except a staff; no bread, no bag, no money in their belts; but to wear sandals and not put on two tunics. And he said to them, “Where you enter a house, stay there until you leave the place.  And if any place will not receive you and they refuse to hear you, when you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet for a testimony against them.” So they went out and preached that men should repent.  And they cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many that were sick and healed them.

This curious passage from the Gospel according to Saint Mark reveals Jesus confidence in his disciples–the fledging group of 12 nobodies who are somebodies in Jesus eyes–he tells them to take nothing but a walking stick to unknown places. He must have seen something in these twelve that others could not see; better put, he saw what the disciples could be if they would simply trust in him.  

Jesus Christ, their rabbi, whom they had followed from the beginning seemed to have a purpose for the journey into new territory and strange landscapes. The disciples had been privy to a show and tell sort of relationship with Jesus as they followed him about, observing his healing actions, hearing his teachings. But he surely knew some still doubted his divinity and questioned his motives, how they misunderstood that the kingdom he referred to is not about their earthly liberation from oppression by the Romans. Yet Jesus sends them on a field trip tailor made to accomplish one thing–to teach them to trust him.

The disciples must have said to themselves, “Jesus, why only a walking stick? If this is some great pilgrimage that you send me on, you must know I need more than a walking stick.  How is it going to make this assignment easier to accomplish? And where am I going anyway? And why? How will I know when I get there? Will I get there? Who will I be able to rely on?……..

Pilgrim daughter of mine, leave your conjured security behind. Nothing but a walking stick, dear daughter, keep to the path.

Pilgrim daughter of mine, stop allowing your pride to thwart your journey, it gets in the way. Nothing but a walking stick, dear daughter, to beat away all that rivals for the throne in my Kingdom.

Pilgrim daughter of mine, I know your weaknesses, I created you, remember? Nothing but a walking stick, dear daughter, will suffice to schooch away the brambles that poke around in your soul. Then you will travel from strength to strength rather than wandering in the desert of your weaknesses.

Pilgrim daughter of mine, I know the utter joy and peace you feel in the shade of our conversations. I know you want to linger there, I understand, I created you, remember? Nothing but a walking stick to remind you that you are on a journey. Yes, the walking stick is a fine thing to lean on and rest awhile. There will be more shade,  more refreshing waters; if you linger here how will you reach the joy and peace of what is ahead on your journey?

Pilgrim daughter of mine, I know you’re prone to wander, binding yourself to distractions of this earthly kingdom. Nothing but a walking stick to keep you from stumbling on those things behind you. I have a greater purpose for you then living between boredom and anxiety, but you must let the distractions go before you grasp the walking stick.

Praying at the Doorstep

“If you sit on the doorstep long enough, I daresay you will think of something”

― J.R.R. Tolkien

The unrest going on around the world does not surprise you; it’s the human condition that you came to atone for and to transform. History proves your faithfulness in every age. My time in history seems the most important to me and right now my heavy heart joins others across the ages. I’m choosing the same remedy the Saints and Martyrs of The Church chose in the midst of their time; fervent intercession. I heard it said that evil is both global and local, I believe it! I’ve also heard it said that as the home goes, so goes the nation.

What’s challenging for me to consider is the gravity of the global dis-ease without becoming overwhelmed by the suffering and injustice, or the fear of how it may affect my family. I choose hope, therefore, I desire to pray in confidence, not despair. The enemy’s tactic is to always distracts me with bad news, but I choose good news! The Gospel truth that I am a Messianic Christian praying in hope of the LORD’s redemption here and now! So many people, good Christian people, pray out of an apocalyptic fear. I’ve observed that they are people who struggle to maintain hope and peace in their lives. I won’t give up on your Messianic redemption–your Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven! It takes courage and fortitude to swim upstream in this downstream world, but it is the only way to maintain levelheadedness when the world around me seems to be coming apart at the seams.

What comes to my mind as I pray these days is the old Irish tradition of praying at the doorstep. The folksy tradition each New Year’s day of going about and pounding on the doors and windows of a villager’s home with bread was practiced in order to chase out evil spirits and ensure bread for the coming year–a curious display of wishing luck to their neighbors. That once a year tradition eventually evolved into a turn of phrase Christians would use in their intercession for others. The notion of “praying against the doorstep” became a logical way for prayer warriors to intercede against any evil that might be threatening a home. Their presence at the doorstep as they prayed was a visible demonstration of their faith and of Whom they put their faith in as they prayed, The Bread of Life.

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; he who comes to me shall not hunger, and he who believes in me shall never thirst.'” St. John 6:35

I pray in your name and the truth that you alone can satisfy the deepest needs in our lives. It is easy for me to visualize you, The Bread of Life, in my praying hands as I pray against the doorstep of the world’s needs. The longer I sit there, the more I receive insight on how to pray. Yet, even with the truth of that you alone can make satisfaction for sin and evil, I find myself wondering if it’s possible. But, what recourse do I have other than faith and hope in your unfailing love for your creation? Thomas Merton’s teaching on prayer encourages me:

Prayer does not blind us to the world, but it transform our vision of the world, and makes us see it, all men, and all the history of mankind in the light of God. To pray ‘in spirit and in truth’ enables us to enter into contact with that infinite love, that inscrutable freedom which is at work behind the complexities and the intricacies of human existence.”

Bread of Life, I pray against the complexities of conflict in our nation. Please exorcise the evil that threatens to dominate our culture.

Bread of Life, I pray against the intricacies that are deeply ingrained in the culture of death that takes the lives of innocent babies and the elderly. Please render the instigators powerless.

Bread of Life, I pray against the perverse hatred between religions, tribes, and ethnicities. Please speak peace into the hatred.

Bread of Life, I pray against the despair and anger that has hijacked the minds of our world during this pandemic and the effects it is causing to our collective emotions. Please restore common sense to us–the decision-makes for our society, as well as ourselves. Hold us back from fetching fears.

The main source of a good and happy life – for the human
race, for each nation and community, and for each family –
is the personal virtue of each individual. No system or set
of laws, however perfect, can work for good without
virtuous individuals.”

–Peter Kreeft

There is another doorstep you desire of me to remember as I pray for the global needs and it’s not far away, it is my own home and my relationships with those around me. It is true that as the home goes, so does the nation. I have a hunch that prayer for my own doorstep will influence the doorstep of the nation. The door to world peace pivots on “prudence [ wisdom], justice [fairness], fortitude [courage], and temperance [self-control]” (Catechism of the Catholic Church #1805) That’s no conjured system by mankind, it’s a manner of living your divine life here and now. When I open my eyes to the daily violence that can happen in relationships, I see with new eyes what a careless word can do to those I love. You promise to replace strife with peace as I pursue your Holy Spirit’s virtues. When I choose to live with my door wide open to you, I receive you as the Bread of Life. Bread that nourishes, satisfies, and fills me. Can prayer against my own doorstep bring about world peace? Yes, yes, yes! As I allow you to remove the clutter of evil that come when I chose vice over virtue, you feed me and protect me, and you nurture in me your divine image.

“Personal virtue is the key to improving the world, finding
happiness, and helping other people to be good and happy too; yet
the ultimate end of virtue is even greater than these great goals:
‘the goal of a virtuous life is to become like God’”

–Peter Kreeft, Catechism of the Catholic Church #1803

Bread of Life, when I am gluttonous for my own desires, feed me temperance to develop a balanced mind in the midst of chaos around me.

Bread of Life, when I allow anger to rule over my thoughts and deeds, strengthen me with patience that chooses mercy over wrath with another.

Bread of Life, when I become envious of another, teach me kindness and fill me with compassion for the other.

Bread of Life, when pride tries to carry me away into self-preoccupation, humble me with reverence for the other.

Bread of Life, when I become slothful in practicing the divine life, feed me diligence to do your will; to persevere when I’d rather ignore a problem with another.

Bread of Life, when lust of the flesh and the boastful pride of life crowd out purity in my thoughts and deeds, consume me with chastity that values purity of heart above all things.

Bread of Life, when greed motivates my attitudes toward others, increase charity in me that leads to sacrificial generosity and benevolence with others.



I learned recently about CeaseFire, a faith-based intervention organization that’s mission is to stop gang violence specifically and racially-motivated strife generally. I learned they have what are referred to as “interrupters” who mediate potentially volatile circumstances

with the objective of peace and reconciliation. One interrupters name is Tim, a former gang member who found Jesus in a prison cell. Tim now stands for peace and he “punks” peace on the streets. I am inspired by his rough humility and transparency. He shared a story of a time when he himself had just successfully interrupted a confrontation between two gang members and on his way home from that meeting he was confronted by another gang member who purposefully cut him off in traffic. They ended up out of their cars and trash talking to each other. Tim said this, “I suddenly realized I was riding the same wave of pride that causes the violence I’m trying to interrupt!” He went on to say the toughest mediation is the mediation inside you. That’s what got me! I’ve never been in a gang, never faced significant injustice, heck, I’ve never even been in a fight that came to blows with my fists.

To mitigate peace, You said, “don’t fight back.” Well, actually you said more than that:

“You have heard that it was said to the men of old, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.’  But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be liable to the hell of fire….“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’  But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; and if any one would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well; and if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you…”

Matthew 5: 21-22; 38-42

It is highly unlikely that I will find myself myself on the streets of an inner city known for racial strife. I doubt I’ll ever be stuck in a war-torn country. But, I am painfully certain that I ride the wave of pride that can inflict pain on another. Your Word in so many places reminds me that when pride or fear rules in my heart in any relationship, the potential for violence is there, though it is often disguised in words and attitudes and motivations.

That’s the rub about You, Jesus; you look right past my entire pretense, all my righteous appearance as if You didn’t care about that at all. Dog-gone-it, LORD, don’t you appreciate how much effort I put into my Self-righteousness? When I stand before you in the final judgment and for that matter, when I stand before you in every moment, you aren’t comparing me to a gang member, or a Stalin, or a Hussein, or even my grumpy neighbor, No, you compare me to you! Nuts! That’s a tall measure.

William Barclay says it is much easier to go about declaring that there should be no such thing as violence, than to live a life in which we personally never allow any such thing as bitterness to invade our relationships with those we live every day. That kind of violence is everywhere, no boundary lines exist on that one and that kind of gang territory can tear apart a relationship faster than any verbal fight.

Back to being an Interrupter. How can I interrupt the cycle of anger or pride or fear or resentment? Slowing down, wearing the shoes of the other, seeing with your eyes and not my own. That kind of action is easier to do when the other is not so important to me. Much, much harder to do with the ones who are closest or when it’s something I’m passionate about.

Some of the most painful, cutting, violent words are words between husbands and wives, siblings, and family members. Occasionally I’m the one who must an interrupter in someone’s relational conflict. To bring peace with a word seems impossible; to mediate resentment that has built over years require much more than a few words. The word can only come from your Spirit’s gift to me–wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude and knowledge, piety and reverence. That manner of interruption accomplishes the impossible.

And then there’s times when I feel what Tim said, “the toughest mediation is the mediation inside you.” I ask your holy Spirit when I get caught up in my own resentments and the temptations to retaliate or to even the playing field, “What needs to be examined in my spirit; Why am I stuck in these emotions?” Eventually, your Spirit faithfully brings me back to this thought: “In the grand scheme of things is what I consider my territory, my rights, and my way important enough to forfeit your forgiveness?” That stops me in my tracks, sometimes it takes me awhile to come to a full stop, but I eventually give over.

God of Peace, lead me with your staff away from the temptation of comeuppance toward the people around me.

God of Peace, release me from the briar of collected grievances that twist through my thoughts and choke out patience and gentleness.

God of Peace, anoint the wounds I allow to fester with your healing oil.

God of Peace, lead me to the still waters and cleanse me of the violence my spirit wields in my thoughts and words.